I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
