It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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