Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
