I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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