im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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