Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
