btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
