I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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