OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
