i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
