I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
