YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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