She is in my trunk
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
