i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
