Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
