Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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