I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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