Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
