she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
