the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
