You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
