I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
