I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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