quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
