sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
false alarm. still invincible.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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