worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
vagina is talking i cant
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dear god my vagina.
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