id be glad to
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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