i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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