I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
