Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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