my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
