Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
