You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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