Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
