what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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