You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
