I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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