apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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