I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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