I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
