I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
