there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
