I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need to calm my uterus...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
