The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
