Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
