So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
