just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
