If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My ass is underappreciated
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
