yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
