idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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