I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
