My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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